Is It All Right to Tell a Lie Once in a While?

We should always tell the truth because God always tells the truth.   Would it be all right to touch a hot stove every once in a while?  If you did, you would burn yourself every time.  It is never right to lie, not even once in a while.  God tells us to tell the truth because He is truth.

Lying also gets us into trouble.  Usually one lie leads to another.  It's so much simpler to tell the truth than to have to remember the lies we have told so that we can keep them covered up.  And lying makes it hard for others to trust us.  But people who are honest are free and joyful.

KEY VERSES:  John 4:24

If I Break Something That Belongs to Someone Else But Fix It, Do I Have to Tell What I Did?

How would you feel if a friend broke something of yours and didn't tell you, even though your friend fixed it?  You probably wouldn't like it, especially if you found out later.  Treating another person the way that you want to be treated is called the Golden Rule.  Jesus taught that this is the way we should always act.

Telling the person what you did is both telling the truth and showing that you respect that person.  If you break something that belongs to someone else, it is important to fix it or to pay to have it fixed.  But you should let the person know what you did and not try to hide it.

When you do that, people will know that you are responsible, and they will let you borrow other things and trust you more.  But if you try to hide it and they find out, they won't trust you anymore.

KEY VERSES:  Matthew 7:12

Is It Wrong to Tell Someone Your Parents Are Home When They're Not?

Telling someone that your parents are home when they aren't is a lie, and God tells us not to lie.  If we tell this kind of a lie, we will find it easier to lie about other things.

But that doesn't mean you have to answer every question that stranger on the phone asks you.  If you are home alone, you probably shouldn't tell people on the phone that your parents aren't home.  Instead, you could say something like:  "They can't come to the phone right now," or, "They are not available," or, "Please let me take a message, and they will get right back to you."  Talk with your mom or dad about what you can say without lying.

KEY VERSES:  Proverbs 12:17

Is It OK to Lie, Knowing You Will Tell the Truth Later?

One of the most common excuses for lying is, "I was going to tell the truth later."  That may sound all right, but usually it is just another lie.

This often happens when people are joking around.  They make up a story for the sake of making people laugh.  It's OK to joke and to kid around, but it's not OK to lie.  Be careful not to make an excuse for lying by saying, "It was a joke," or, "I was going to tell the truth later."  If you do, after a while people won't know when you're telling the truth and when you're not, and they might stop trusting you.

The second most important thing in life is our relationship with others, and one of the most important parts of a good relationship is trust.  No joke is more important than that.

KEY VERSES:  Proverbs 26:18-19

Is It OK to Lie to Keep a Friend from Getting Hurt?

We don't have to lie to keep our friends from getting hurt.  We can think of better ways.  For example, depending on the situation, we can get the help of an adult who knows the friend and cares about him or her, or we can say to the friend, "I'm not going to tell you because I don't want you to get hurt."  There are many other ways to help a friend besides lying.

God loves you and wants you to be truthful.  So He won't force you to lie or put you in a situation where you have to lie.  Look for another way to respond.

Remember that God's way is always the best.  You may think that lying will keep someone from getting hurt, but actually it will just make the situation worse.

KEY VERSES:  1 Corinthians 10:13

What Should You Do If Someone Lies to You?

How you respond to lie depends on who it affects.  A friend might lie and say, "I shot twenty free throws in a row without missing."  That kind of a lie doesn't need any response (in fact, saying nothing is probably best).  But if a class partner shows up to give a report with you and says, "I'm all ready" and isn't, that will affect both of you and the class.  Or if someone lies to an adult about situations you were involved in, that will affect both of you and possibly others.  In cases like that, you need to respond in some way.

In other words, you can ignore some made-up stories or exaggerations. At other times, however, you should tell the person telling the lie that what he or she is saying just isn't true.  This is important when the lie hurts someone, such as making up a bad story about someone at school, cheating in class, or telling something that isn't true to get money from someone or to get that person to do something wrong.

With very serious lies, you should tell an adult.  In these situations, someone could get in big trouble or get hurt badly.

KEY VERSES:  Galatians 6:1

Is It OK to Keep Secrets from Your Friends?

Most of the time it is all right to keep secrets.  Telling the truth doesn't mean that we have to tell everything we know to everyone who asks.  Sometimes secrets can be fun, like with birthday presents or other pleasant surprises.  Sometimes secrets are important because it's better for you not to give out certain information to just anyone.

We should not keep something a secret if it means that someone will get hurt or get into serious trouble.  For example, a boy might say he is going to beat up another kid, or a girl might say that she's going to steal something from a store.  In those cases, we should tell someone who can help - perhaps a parent, a teacher, a coach, a youth leader, or a school counselor.

Be careful not to promise to keep a secret before you hear what it is.  Whether you tell or not should not depend on what the secret is.

KEY VERSES:  Proverbs 20:19

Should I Tell the Truth to Someone Even If They Won't Like It?

You should strive to tell the truth, even if it hurts, but never just to be cruel.  Here are a few examples to help you decide how to do that.

Sometimes the truth hurts, but we still need to say it.  Imagine that a friend asks you a party.  You can't go, but you don't want to hurt your friend's feelings.  So you say yes, or you don't say anything and let her think that you will be there.  Even though you friend will feel bad that you can't come to the party, it would be much better to tell her the truth right away.

Another time you need to tell the unpleasant truth is when a friend is getting into trouble.  That friend might be starting to hang out with bad kids.  Being a good friend means telling your friend the truth.  That friend may not like what you have to say, but it's the truth, and he or she needs to hear it from you.

Being honest and truthful, however, does not give us permission to be cruel.  Remember, God is loving and kind.  So we shouldn't tell people things that will hurt their feelings just because those things are true.  It would be cruel, for example, to tell someone, "You have a big nose," or, "You don't play basketball very well," or, "Your house needs to be painted," or, "Your clothes are old and worn out."

KEY VERSES:  Ephesians 4:15

If You Don't Like Something a Person Wears and They Ask You If You Like It, Are You Supposed to Tell Them the Truth?

We are not supposed to lie, but that doesn't mean that we have to be mean or hurtful about what we say.  We need to learn tact. Tact is telling the truth in a nice way, even if it's hard for the other person to take.  For example, suppose you think a person's coat is ugly.  You don't have to say, "I hate that ugly coat!"  You can think of something good about it, like, "It looks nice and warm."  Practice saying what you think in ways that respect people's feelings.

KEY VERSES:  Ephesians 4:29

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** These questions and answers are provided from the book 801 Questions Kids Ask About God—with Answers from the Bible, by Heritage Builders, a ministry of Focus on the Family, For All Ages.  Copyright 2000 by Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.  All rights reserved.  Used by Permission.